Tag Archives: Dwayne Johnson

Dwayne and George go on a Surprisingly Fun Rampage

Rampage the video game couldn’t be more mindless. You take control of a mutated gorilla, wolf, or lizard and run around destroying things and eating people until your health bar runs out. That’s it. Pure mindless destruction. And I enjoyed playing it immensely.

I remember seeing the trailer for Rampage the movie for the first time. It started out looking like just another stupid Dwayne Johnson movie. Then the gorilla started wrecking things. When the wolf showed up, it began to dawn on me. “No, it couldn’t be” I thought to myself. But gradually it looked more and more like someone had actually made a movie out of one of the most simpleminded video games ever. Literally 2 seconds after I thought “Where’s Lizzie?” the giant alligator appeared.

That's a big alligator

That’s a big alligator. IMDb.com

I smelled a train wreck, and I walked into the theater feeling a tingly mixture of excited anticipation and dread, but I found myself liking this movie a lot more than I ever expected to. Continue reading →

Moana: Disney’s New Not a Princess Plays it Too Safe

In its never-ending quest to extract as much cash as possible from pre-teen girls of every conceivable ethnic background, Disney adds Polynesian princess Moana (voiced by Auli’i Cravalho) to its ever growing stable. Excuse me, “chief’s daughter.” Moana states very explicitly, and quite indignantly, that she is NOT a princess. Her companion, demigod Maui (voiced by Dwayne Johnson) immediately calls BS on that denial. This exchange is just one of many instances where Disney sheepishly admits to the audience that they’re just following the usual formula. They know it, you know it, we’re all in on it together, so just sit back and look at the pretty scenery.

And the scenery is pretty. More than pretty, actually, it’s gorgeous. The water effects are some of the best I’ve seen in any medium, and the islands are stunning. The animators succeeded in creating a visually beautiful paradise. I found myself wishing I could visit those islands and swim in that ocean. Continue reading →