The trailer for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom tells you the whole plot. The island the dinosaurs are on is about to get blowed up by a volcano, so a rescue operation is launched. Oh, no! The bad guys were lying! Who would have seen that coming? The bad guys are trying to weaponize the dinosaurs! Mayhem ensues.
From the beginning of the opening sequence to the end, the thin storyline is driven primarily by idiocy. One person after another, good guys and bad, make ludicrously horrible decisions. If that weren’t enough, most of the action sequences rely on implausible events that would qualify as slapstick if they were funny. Unfortunately, they’re not.
Fallen Kingdom can’t even maintain any consistency with its own internal rules. In fact, it makes zero attempt to do so. A dinosaur that rips through metal barriers as if they were paper is stopped by a thin wooden door. Dinosaurs have ultra-keen senses of smell when they need to but can’t smell squat if the right person is trying to hide. Tranquilizers are effective, until they’re not, and they repeatedly wear off instantly at precisely the right/wrong moment. Dinosaurs move like lightning, except when they inexplicably pause to menace a potential victim just long enough for someone/something to appear and save the day.
Don’t worry, we’re the good guys. She can’t see, hear, or smell us.
Bryce Dallas Howard and Chris Pratt in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018) IMDb.com
