The first question that comes to mind is “What did you expect from a remake of a movie based on a video game?” My expectations were actually quite low, but Tomb Raider still failed to meet them. (Warning: There are some spoilers ahead. That is, if a movie this generic and predictable can truly be spoiled.)
Lara Croft (Alicia Vikander) refuses to accept that her long-missing father (Dominic West) is truly dead. She is eventually presented with a puzzle box that provides clues to the location of Lord Croft’s secret study where all the archeological research is kept. She rummages through his stuff, finds the location of the ancient treasure he left to pursue 7 years earlier, and decides to retrace his steps in hopes of finding him.
Alicia Vikander. IMDb.com
The plot couldn’t be more generic, only exists to move Lara from one action sequence to the next, and in certain key areas simply makes no sense. Case in point – given the nature of what’s in the tomb, why on earth would anyone go to the trouble of constructing an insanely complicated series of traps to guard it when an easier and far more effective strategy would be to simply bury it under tons and tons of rock?
The original Tomb Raider was a puzzle game, and the Tomb Raider film stays true to this source material. Entirely too true, unfortunately. The first couple action sequences are quite cool, but it doesn’t take long to realize that what you are watching is, in fact, less a movie and more a live action video game. Jumping puzzles materialize out of nowhere, and the exact item/platform/handhold/rope is always right there when Lara needs it.
Lara is in a rushing river hurtling toward a waterfall and certain doom. How lucky that there’s a rusted derelict plane right at the top of the falls for her to grab. Oh no! The wing starts to fall apart just as she climbs on. No problem. Lara has consummate jumping skills and leaps to the fuselage just before the wing disintegrates and crashes to the ground far below. When the plane starts to ominously shift a few seconds later, she looks around and incredulously sighs “Really?” Her reaction mirrored my own.
Alicia Vikander. IMDb.com
The point is, there is absolutely no tension in this film. Every few minutes, a puzzle or jumping challenge will present itself, and Lara will solve it with little difficulty. There’s never any sense that she is in any real danger whatsoever.
Alicia Vikander solves another puzzle in Tomb Raider. IMDb.com.
The characters fare little better than the plot. Lara and her father are supposed to have an intensely close father-daughter bond, but Vikander and West have no chemistry. Lara is a standard action girl, although Vikander does manage to make her quite likable despite the lack of depth. Mathias Vogel (Walton Goggins) is little more than a stock bad guy.
The final minutes ham-handedly tack on some ominous discoveries about the full extent of a world-wide Society of Evil. With her new-found confidence and sense of purpose, Lara prepares to take it all on. The final scene of her posing with a newly acquired brace of mean looking pistols is clearly meant to get everyone excited for sequels. My reaction – “Ugh, they’re going to make more of these.”
Overall rating 4/10
Alicia Vikander. IMDb.com
On a positive note, seeing Tomb Raider wasn’t entirely a waste of time. I learned a cool new word – marmalize. This is apparently a British word meaning to thoroughly beat someone up or utterly defeat them. To me, it conjures a mental image of pounding someone into marmalade. And it’s fun to say. I will be looking for opportunities to use it in daily conversation.