Monthly Archives: March 2018

Ponyo

If You Like Acid Trips, You Might Like Ponyo

Created by celebrated director Hayao Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli, Ponyo is clearly not one of their better efforts. In this story, an aquatic, human-headed blob that we’re told is supposed to be a goldfish escapes from her human-looking wizard/alchemist father. After riding on a jellyfish for a while, she has a dangerous encounter with a trawler, gets stuck in a jar, and washes up on shore, where she is found and rescued by Sôsuke, a five-year-old boy who lives with his mother while his sea captain father is mostly away. He names her Ponyo. In the process of breaking her out of the jar, Sôsuke cuts his finger. Ponyo licks it and instantly heals it. More importantly, the taste of human blood gives her magical powers. Ponyo and Sôsuke form a bond, and she decides she wants to become a human girl.

Ponyo and Her Father

Ponyo and Her Father. IMDb.com

Ponyo’s father is having none of it, however, so he sends his magical water spirits to reclaim her. During a heated quarrel, she starts to transform, but her father uses magic to force her back into her original state. He leaves to summon Ponyo’s mother, and while he’s gone, she completes her transformation, gets into the storehouse of magical elixir, and unleashes a watery apocalypse upon the unsuspecting humans.

Ponyo Wreaks Havoc

Ponyo Wreaks Havoc. IMDb.com

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James Stewart in Vertigo

60 Years Later, Vertigo is Still a Superb Film

First released in 1958, Vertigo returned to the big screen for a limited engagement to celebrate its 60th anniversary. Considered one of Alfred Hitchcock’s best works, it consistently ranks among the greatest movies of all time.

In the opening scene, Detective John Ferguson (James Stewart) discovers he has a crippling fear of heights and watches a policeman plummet to his death. Traumatized, he retires. He is soon contacted by an old friend, Gavin Elster (Tom Helmore), and hired to follow Elster’s wife, Madeleine (Kim Novak). Elster is convinced that Madeleine’s dead great-grandmother is trying to possess her, and he fears for her safety. Ferguson reluctantly takes the job, and over the course of a couple of days becomes obsessed with Madeleine.

What follows is a brilliantly scripted psychological thriller. Fear of heights might feature prominently, but we gradually learn that Ferguson’s issues go far deeper than that. Stellar performances from Stewart and Novak do more than justice to the script. Appearing relatively normal on the surface, their interactions create an understated but devastatingly effective sense of bizarre creepiness.

James Stewart and Kim Novak in Vertigo

James Stewart and Kim Novak. IMDb.com

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Tomb Raider: Some Things are Better Left Buried

The first question that comes to mind is “What did you expect from a remake of a movie based on a video game?” My expectations were actually quite low, but Tomb Raider still failed to meet them. (Warning: There are some spoilers ahead. That is, if a movie this generic and predictable can truly be spoiled.)

Lara Croft (Alicia Vikander) refuses to accept that her long-missing father (Dominic West) is truly dead. She is eventually presented with a puzzle box that provides clues to the location of Lord Croft’s secret study where all the archeological research is kept. She rummages through his stuff, finds the location of the ancient treasure he left to pursue 7 years earlier, and decides to retrace his steps in hopes of finding him.

Alicia Vikander finds the secret study in Tomb Raider

Alicia Vikander. IMDb.com

The plot couldn’t be more generic, only exists to move Lara from one action sequence to the next, and in certain key areas simply makes no sense. Case in point – given the nature of what’s in the tomb, why on earth would anyone go to the trouble of constructing an insanely complicated series of traps to guard it when an easier and far more effective strategy would be to simply bury it under tons and tons of rock? Continue reading →

Death Wish (2018)

Another month, another remake. This time, it’s Charles Bronson’s iconic Death Wish, with Bruce Willis taking on the lead role of Paul Kersey. An architect living in New York in the 1974 film, Kersey has been transformed into a trauma surgeon living in Chicago. Let’s just get this out of the way – pretty much every medical-related scene is complete BS. Please, Hollywood, if you insist on making your protagonist a medical professional, at least make a minimal effort to create plausible approximations of medical procedures. Suffice it to say that if I’m ever shot, I NEVER want to be taken to Dr. Paul Kersey’s emergency room.

The plot relies a little too heavily on happy coincidences. The right person carrying the right item gets shot at the right time and comes into the right hospital’s ER during Kersey’s shift a little too often to suit me. And the place is quite blasé about patients’ belongings. I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised about that. A hospital that runs emergencies as incompetently as this one does probably wouldn’t have a big problem with staff looting bodies and rummaging through dead patients’ stuff.

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